Newsflash⚡ writes fictional stories inspired by the headlines.
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Read the original article (Jonathan Beale, Andre Rhoden-Paul - BBC News):
Trident missile test fails for second time in a row - BBC News
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It’s strange - with the view I can see from my window, I get to look out at the water and think: well, that’s where they keep the apocalypse.
Not something you’re bound to think, when you look at water. Water brings up all sorts of other cliches, but essentially, I reckon it’s good. It’s calming for most folk, I would say; something lovely and blue about it, the way it flickers.
The water here’s black. Most of the time, it’s black. Very deep, too, deepest in the country, if you didn’t know that already. My bedroom looks out onto it. I’ve just recently had proper double-glazing put in but it looks just as marvelous through the new glass as the old stuff - not that the windows are going to do much about a trillion tons of explosive power, or whatever it is they’re equal to.
Nothing much happens here unless something happens with the bombs. The last thing I want to see in the village shop's papers is anything about the village, because it’ll mean either the world’s ending, or Sylvie the fishing tackle shopkeeper is running around topless again. Usually it’s do with the world ending or how it would end if anybody had the balls to push the bloody button.
Thank fuck nobody’s balls are that large or they’d be tripping over their own feet, which is sort of what nukes are about, anyway. Just in case what? In case some Russian bastard doesn’t get incinerated on the day it all goes pop? Sometimes, I wonder about the logic. They’ve got to know something I don’t - if they don’t, we're all… well, fucked, frankly.
Anyway, heard one of the big ones failed this week. “Speak softly, but carry a big stick.” I reckon that’s good advice that, that Mr. Roosevelt gave. But nobody’s spoken softly here since we started hanging witches and came out on top of the slave trade. Arrogant, insecure bastards, with big bombs and radioactive erectile dysfunction. Heard it splashed down just a few miles from where it launched. Remarkable.
Makes you wonder if we’re going to be able to survive a major war at all. Makes you wonder if you or your children will have to be sent off to fight somewhere, or makes you wonder - is it not so bad, if we all just get bombed anyway? Pretty morbid - not the worst, though, for a country that can't throw a ball past its arms. What are we going to do if someone else pushes it first? That’s the sort of thing people will be wondering about now.
Me, I couldn’t care less. What I wonder is if the water is the best place to keep them.
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The views expressed in this publication do not reflect the views of the author. The stories themselves are based on imagined events. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is fictitious and should not be taken as representative.
I do not take sides in conflicts as the leaders from all sides and for centuries have created the conflicts and made money from them and the people pay with blood and death!? Big waste of money and if only people would stand up and learn two words----NO MORE!
Sylvie's great isn't she?